Editorial Note

A colleague once wrote "that editing a journal resembles writing a poem in that the finished product may end up very different from the sum of many small, incremental decisions."  The decisions one makes in editing are not easy and sometimes deciding what photo to place next to which poem can enhance or take away from the image or the words. It's only at the end when it all comes together that each assumes a different power that is strengthen by the whole as the book/poem takes shape. As we go into our third year of publication, we salute our students, their creative talent, and their willingness to share with you the reader.

Patrick Collins served as editorial assistant for the Spring issue and Deb Duval of Student Activities provided, as usual, continued support in ways too numerous to list ­ a thank you goes to each of you for your time and patience with this project.

Cherry Luedtke, reference librarian for the Northridge Campus, continues to offer web support, for which we are most grateful. The back issues are available for viewing on our web site at <www2.austin.cc.tx.us/RioReview>.

Donetta Goodall, Associate Vice President and Margie Huerta, Dean of Arts and Humanities continue to make the journal possible with their generous support ­ again, thank you.

We look forward to the fall when another book/poem takes place; we hope you enjoy this one.

 

Spring 2000

 

 

 

 

The Poems

 

 

 

Skipping Stones

(for WCW)

Mark Armstrong

 

On the old creek bridge

my father and I skipped stones

as the locust's creaked

like a thousand rusty hinges

and the sun sank down.

 

 

Black

Sunny Ashabranner
 

Black is not hollow

or shallow

Black is bold and

strong standing on the

Earth as if to shield us

from red demons and death

How magnificent is the sky

when this black backdrop

is let down

Standing above

holding up stars

Allowing imaginations

to run

Scorpio wishing

the flesh would pass

Orion standing arrow in hand

until eternity

Eight other spheres with

objects in orbit

Showers of florescent

light

Black holding all this

Must have

Shoulders of steel

How can one explain

These phenomenon

Day in and day out

Black’s job is clear--

 

 

Broken Star

Mike Avila
 

There I am at abuelitas house between

the old pecan tree and her clothesline.

I am playing, dreaming, not knowing or caring

how life is going to be or turn out.

In the early morning the winds

chased each other from one window to

the other taking with them the warm

scent of abuelitas tortillas.

The sky is happy blue

as I am then.

All the family gathers there,

mis primos, tias y tios.

Bright paper colors-star-shaped,

bursting and releasing candy.

All of us rush to fill our

bolsas full of the broken star.

If that star had not fallen from its place

above, breaking into sweet candy, then

the old pecan tree or the delicate Chinese

plum tree would have fed us some kind

. . . of sweet pleasure.

 

 

Que Ella Es (ni aquí ni allá)

Mike Avila
 

Ella no

está

ni aquí

ni allá

Ella es

la lluvia

el sol brillante

la flor marchitada

y el arbol fuerte

Ella es aquí un

momento como

el rayo tibio

del sol luego

desaparecido

con la brisa

fuerte de

la muerte

 

Ella revolotea con

sus alas que

cambian los

vientos agitados

mandándome un

nuevo sendero

En las mañanas

ella me canta

canciones en la

voz del pájaro

en la tarde

ella susurra su

historia en mi oído

recordándome

que ahora ella

está ni aquí

ni allá

 

What She Is

(Nowhere and Everywhere)

Mike Avila

 

she is nowhere and everywhere

she is

the rain

sunshine

the wilted

flower and

strong tree

here one moment

like a warm

sunshine then

gone with the stale

breeze of death

she flutters by with wings

that change ruffling winds

sending me on new paths

 

in the mornings she sings

me songs in the voice of a

bird in the evening she whispers

her story in my ear reminding

me that now

she is nowhere and everywhere

 

 

 

But, Baby

Shawn Badgley

(An Ode to Winston Lights)

But, Baby, they

want me

to quit ya'

they say

you're no good

for me &

that I'm

too good

for you.

They say each

seven

minute

kiss

steals

seven

minutes

from my toothless,

loveless old age;

seven

minutes

from my bowel

 

breaking afternoons

in the public

restrooms

at the

rest home;

seven

minutes

from me mourning

them.

But, Baby, see,

I don't care.

They don't

realize

you burn

for me

over

&

over

like some pagan

sacrifice,

 

van had a

flat tire;

three bucks

to my name;

Paige introduced us.

I must admit

I was ashamed

of you at first,

couldn't let

you meet Mother

in Malibu,

but you

understood.

Followed me back

to St. Louis &

we reconciled;

sat for hours

almost silent

on the porch

& days later

in Baltimore

we came

to a decision:

we were an item,

kissing under

leafless trees

nearly 40 times

a day & going out

with other couples

to Fell's Point &

the ballpark

it was,

in a word,

wonderful.

We were married

by the time

Mother

moved to Zurich;

looked at our

visit as a

honeymoon;

 

marveled

at the architecture

& the fact that

the French &

the Czech &

the German &

the Dutch &

the Danish &

the Spanish &

the 'Talian

all

do it differently;

do it all the time;

do it everywhere.

So we did it too

When in Rome, right?

We giggled,

fools

crazy for each

other.

I came home

coughing

blood

that was

too red

with

love.

You, darling,

were fine

somehow,

immune

to the consequences

of commitment;

we separated

for a time

while I recovered

but soon

decided

to move

down

South,

together

again.

Here in Austin

things are

different

you act

distant &

I'm distracted;

I gotta lot

going on, &

you should

know that

by now.

We rarely

have time

for each

other, &

when we do,

your kisses

taste bitter;

taste nostalgic;

taste like you

belong

to someone

else

from your past.

Maybe you do,

who knows?

Mother thinks

we're over with;

says she can tell

by my voice

so hoarse

from our

arguments.

But, Baby,

I won't let

you go;

I simply can't.

I still think

of you

all day,

even

while I sleep.

So supple;

so textured!

So patiently beautiful

with your

burning

orange saintly

crown &

grainy

golden belt!

I will stay

with you

now;

I will force

you

to love me

again & to

stay with me

as well,

for if you leave

tonight,

tomorrow

you'll come back

to a boy

furiously

chewing Trident &

suffering blind

lovelorn

seizures

of regret,

& I promise

in his blindness

he will not

recognize

your perfume.

 

 

Now, Even, Sometimes

for the Dying

Shawn Badgley
 

(SHE SAYS)

You really wanna know?

You must be crazy or somethin';

you must really be outta your mind!

(I SEE)

The purple cactus keeps swaying

& lately I think it must not be

what I thought,

but something more like an outline

or ghost of an outline

or the bruised sticky film of that

cactus, rotting.

(SHE SEES)

Cathedral-skinned bones of

the blue fish

still pricking my throat,

pink holes showing veins.

(SHE ASKS)

Isn't that enough?

Isn't that enough, to see

your own flowing blood

in a bowl?

(I SAY)

I'm not lying, Sweetheart.

I wouldn't lie to you.

It's the way it had to be,

has to be.

You know me, babe;

you know how I am.

(SHE REMEMBERS)

Even the simple gift of memory

as suspicious back then,

glad now it's gone

but refusing even to play

the tape in our

makeshift kitchen,

trapped in porcelain;

 

trapped in my memories

since they're still there

& I'm not trying to forget.

(I KNOW)

Trapped is not a bad way to be,

at least right now, & let's face it, man,

everything's a trap,

most of all what doesn't seem it,

& maybe she can't find the

tape anyway, who knows?

(I HEAR)

Another appliance make noises

I never learned to understand

& another daughter says, My God,

I can't believe what's happening to him!

& more footsteps in the hallway

I can't recognize,

& she hears them too

but pretends she doesn't

& four ears trying to work as one

 

maybe is love but is more likely

something so constant,

like the heat; the humidity.

(SHE'S EMBARRASSED)

That we're poor now

& don't have a bathroom

& go like dogs outside under trees

& sometimes even on the

motel room rug

if my legs won't work

or it's too cold.

(SHE KNOWS)

My greatest fear is

to be blind or deaf or

for God's sake both &

(I KNOW)

Hers is to drown in cheap cement.

 

(WE FEEL)

Wicked sometimes when

we share my drugs

& don't blame the priests for what

they'll sometimes do to little boys

or even girls, 'cause we understand

what it's like to look forward

only to death,

& sometimes she'll be the priest

& I'll be the little boy,

or sometimes we'll switch,

or sometimes we'll just watch T.V.

(I FEEL)

Sorry sometimes that it's come to thisI really do.

(WE ARE)

Sick of sex & drugs but

we still like rock & roll,

& is there a doctor around

who can explain that to us?

 (I'M CONVINCED)

Life is a liar

& death is a lover

too honest to live with,

& not even God could tell me

any different anymore.

(SHE IS)

Wearing headphones,

canceling appointments,

reading the Bible

& washing my bedside bowl.

(I WANT)

To sculpt her when she does that

& take the statue to my tomb.

(I AM)

Simply

not who I was an hour ago

when you stopped by for coffee

& won't be who I am tomorrow

for very long,

& now, even, sometimes,

I cry 'cause I can still remember

Everything;

now, even, sometimes,

I wonder what she'll do

when I'm gone.

 

 

Since 1884

Shawn Badgley

1.

At O'Connell's,

the wood wears ancient scars

& stains of blood & beer

mark the tables, cave paintings,

vague shapes ingrained

that catch occasional light &

bounce it green off the walls,

where framed photos of

great Irish writers hang

suspended above college kids

who know the old joke:

If you glance in a mirror &

look drunker than Behan,

it's time to get a ride home.

"So you're telling me you

still don't remember kissing

Lucy Williams?"

"That's right, man,

no recollection whatsoever."

"That's bull, is what it is. Bull."

 

2.

Red & Henry flirt with Wendy

at the bar

like they've been doing

for 40 years, she throwing

her bald head back

with a squeal; smoke escapes

her nostrils as she laughs

thinking of Wicklow &

the cricket boys out back

calling her name while

Old Mama O' brushed out her

auburn curls after dinner.

The sun sometimes stayed out

'til midnight there,

she often tells them.

"I dunno, Hanky, this chemo

is really startin' to take its toll."

"Well, it sure as hell shows what kinda

woman y'are when ya' show up

to run this place everyday."

"Oh, you know I'm just comin'

to see you, love."

 

3.

1:35 a.m.

the streetlamps on Kingshighway

are mostly dark, shot out

by streetkids, their grayish shards

still dangle

from wires like dead fruit about to

drop. Sweaty cooks in

their torn t-shirts smile &

sneak a beer; they feel

that breezy asphalt air

suck away the damp

along their necks

as they rest before

cleaning the kitchen & going

home to something that lately

seems too much like nothing.

"You wanna come over &

watch the game Sunday night

or what?"

"Sure, I guess. You wanna mop tonight

or shall I?"

 

"I'll take it. Just make sure y'all clean out

that damn dishwasher drain

you was s'posed to do it last week."

 

The Tears the Onion Brings

Peter Beronio
 

Slicing mushrooms on the counter top he notices

the small of her back

standing next to him, the delicate manner

in which she slices through hearts

of artichoke.

They stand laughing, each one looking forward

to the tears the onion brings.

The water is getting hotter,

almost boiling now,

and he is hungry.

Delicious scents of:

fresh tomatoes,

mushrooms,

garlic and red peppers,

the wine already relaxing.

They smile when it strikes

the same thought,

the same retort.

They try not to relate too much,

but the wine makes it hard as

their hands brush by the stove and

they try not to notice, hoping no one sees

the awkwardness between them.

He too is trapped,

but in her eyes he can see

that she too looks forward

to the tears the onion brings.

 

The Poet

Mark Boyle
 

He wraps sentences around his fingers

grips his pen,

glides the ink,

as he funnels the imagery

into a ribbon of silk.

The audience reaches out

to grab the poem,

but it envelopes them instead,

tells them things,

they already knew

but in a way they finally

understand.

If you listen to the poet

his persistant p's

or his falling t's

even the hidden vowels between,

you may hear the word sing

a lullabye that puts babes to sleep

or the purr of a cat

as it nuzzles the sides

of your legs

feeling your expierences.

 

America, the Sitcom

Krist Bronstad
 

My father wrote us in an airmail that he'd met a woman at a bus terminal in a lost place along the Rockies where buses are always late. She told him her sons were on crack or probation; they listened to rap and brandished large firearms and subversive ideologies. She herself was just devoured and abandoned in a villainous divorce, roughly handled by the dumb claws of the justice system, and now wandered the slagging and paunchy midsection of the country in torn Dior and Chanel, doomsdaying in the age of doomsdays. An ex-cheerleader, "if such things are relevant," a token and proponent of Americana with big hair; she told my father not to move us back. "It's not the America they knew. It's evil. Stay oceans away."

"What should we do then?" wrote my father, who continued to look for computer jobs and visit dying relatives. "It's different now," he confirmed. He remembered his youth, the small gravel pit town where his own father worked on airplanes and his mother taught. He knew every type of plane that flew above. He knew everything  that could be known.  He went back for funerals.  His sister, a civil engineer with a Russian fetish, drove him down the highways in her turquoise Jananese gem.  “Your cousin karena is going to private school now,” he wrote of her daugher.  @ They watched too many movies in the public school system.  From what my sister says, her education is more like your own, just not as learning intensive as the European system.  Ther is still an American emphasis on entertainment.

 

He sent us newspapers from Chicago, Dallas, San Francisco. We sprawled out on the floor, by the fire, shucking all the paper that was not comics or entertainment listings. Everything was in color, everything was huge. We concocted jealous fantasies of Karena's contemporary life as if it were some future event of grandchildren. There would be: 7-11s, rap music, IHOPs, 24 hour television and radio, cartoonish violencerampant sex, with the shadows of home movie fifties, Super-8 cam sixties, the burgeoning prospect of malls. There our cousin Karena, would be stuck pleasantly between the everlasting prepubescent glow of Punky Brewster and the perky-breasted sexual spectrum presented by the girls of Facts of Life.

"Here are the copies of Teen Beat the girls requested," my father wrote. He had been without a car and was hitching a ride out of Texas and into the Badlands with a Minnesotan college student named Corey. It was the fall and my father wrote that Corey was enamored with his knowledge of foliage and birds. Corey studied English at a little Lutheran college. My father included a picture; Corey was encased in fall shadow, a man of science, in a world where it was always cold. We tracked their journey across colorful weather maps, wrote in grids which shows they could watch on snowy TV screens in cheap motel rooms.

 

 

Black Clouds in the Kitchen

Krist Bronstad
 

Watch for black clouds in the kitchen.

You will not see them before you see

the shadow of flames

from another room,

around the corner.

There is a wok on fireits flames touch

the ceiling.

The woman you're with turns the burner off.

You've turned the knob accidentally, as you

squeezed your widening body against it,

hunting for garbage bags.

She curses you in a slow, soft voice

as she stirs the flame with a plastic spatula,

blows on it, stares at it, finally

grabbing it by the handles

and putting it under the running faucet.

You just stand there, keeping a window from closing,

searching for something to take your place.